The never ending road to paradise

Walking for days now.  Blindly through the broken roads and tainted sky I march ever so nobly.  Screams of torture surround me.  This road will never end nor will the anguish and pain that its followers carry on their backs.  Life is fair to the select few.  All else are outcasts.  We only know joy through our dreams and fantasies.  Hopeless is our names.  The dark is our homes. The light our enemy for it shows our many flaws.
For in the light all our imperfections are visible to all.

The sun never shined until last night

Dreams are not your friends.
They create disillusionment that poison the mind.
They trick you into chasing fantasies that never were nor ever be.
Your mind may be the biggest culprit in its ability to pull those from your life, buried and forgotten, and give them heightened existence in your heart.
The mere idea of the concept that we may never act out these fantasies are torturing in nature, up to the point that it becomes replaced by burden.
For the first time in all my dreams the sun had shined.  It was golden.  Full of hope and opportunity I willingly accepted it as my reality all up to the point where I woke up.
Dreams are hurt-full lies and fake promises.
Is it fair to experience heaven just to break to realization that I am trapped in this prison of a life.  One in which the warmth and hue of the sun will never be as warm and inviting as it could ever be in my dreams.  I wish I could reject this reality for one in which I will never wake up from.  Make the lies my home and heaven and never look back.

New World

Destructive, heart-breaking, disgusting, dark, a certain noir hiding in plain site.  To survive, you have to become a part of all this chaos.  So much opportunity available.  People don't even know how much they can hurt someone.  To brace myself for this new world I must be more radical.  I need not just recreate my image but re-imagine myself.  A regeneration is needed.  To build upon the old and bring something completely new out of the dark.  The barriers of reality have been broken.  A new dawn of life and a way of living, no, surviving.
I must re-invent the world.  My world.  Maybe even the worlds of others.  I have entered a new era of pain and misery.  Breaking free from ways of old has become a necessity.  Nothing will survive unless I intervene.  I am sick of everything.  If something doesn't change right now I will surely die. 

Gloomy is the Word of the Day

...

You can't see the stars from Hell

It was never about the lust, the looks, or the consequences.  It was all about the feeling.  The feeling of content.  That one moment of your life when every thing freezes and time stops only for you.  Before you can even take a breathe...happiness is all you know.  Love is what that moment is.  It makes us more whole and enlightened.  It spreads through our body attacking the heart first,  next accumulating a mass of emptiness in your stomache, and finally leaving you light headed and stricken with obsessive thoughts.
The man who gives nothing has nothing.  We go around carring our heart in our palms handing it to all we meet.  Our lives are measured by how charitable we are with what we have.

Life or Death

Nothing, I have nothing anymore. Drowning in this vast ocean called life.  What am I living for? Why do I keep going?  My life is fulled with "what if's".  There is never any certainty.  Frozen in time with nothing to keep me going.  Hope... means nothing to me anymore.  It's dark outside, and it will always be.

The Indestructible Man

The need to be something more in life cannot be ignored.  To surpass all expectations of you and define yourself as a new person.  The challenge of obtaining perfection, means having all the right imperfections.  To stand so tall that you are made noticeable where ever you go. It takes a certain kind of goodness and will to be this person.  Where no one could smear your name even if they tried.  The ability to love all, judge none, and smile at the sun.  As individuals we make no difference.  You must be more than a person, you must stand for something that will prevail throughout all times to come.  To be the Indestructible Man  means to let nothing lower your spirits or slow you down from your goals.  Just being around such a person inspires all around them.  Inspiration is the key to a successful life.  It is not enough to be the best that you can be but you must encourage others as well to make great things happen.  There are no limits in life.  You fill your own cup hoping it never reaches brim.  Our love is never ending.  Our hate is inexistent.  We fight in the name of good.  We don't know what it means to lose.  Life will throw everything at you.  What will you do?  Just stand there and take it and show the world despite all troubles that we will always be who we are no matter what.  Nothing forces us to be anyone that we are not.  We will never break. Together or alone... Indestructible forever we will be.

Dreaming Amongst the Stars

               As I slipped away last night, I had the most peculiar dream.  There was a woman in my life who I never really looked at.  She is beautiful in her own way but She was just there to me, just another person.  In my dream she taught me something that I will never forget.  What she taught me was different, I have no words for it.  It was a feeling, an appreciation. It was a compassion for the individual creation of life.  I felt different.  I did not love this woman.

               In my dream we had met up while on holiday at a hotel near a beach.  Like every dream I ever had the day was gloomy and going into night.  We drank spirits together and talked.  We became attracted to each other.  We made love that night.  In my dream, a couple months had passed, she was pregnant.  I returned to the hotel to find her.  She broke the news to me.  I was in the middle of my life, girlfriend, college, work.  Then, she told me "We are having a baby together".  The way I felt was unexplainable.  I didn't love her, I didn't want her, she had nothing for me.  But, there was one thing that i did love.  That was our child being bared in her womb.

               I had created life, beautiful life.  I never knew this unborn child or his or her's mother but I loved it.  The simplistically of it was magnificent.  I loved for no other reason than the child just being in existence.
        
          One day, I very much hope to become a father.  I hope to bring life into this world.  I hope to see my child smile for the first time, I hope to be there for every moment of his or her's life good or bad.  Ready or not, I know I will love my child always and forever, even before they ever come into existence.  Even whenthey will be nothing but a mere thought among the stars, I will love you.

My Love for Her is like my Life, I'll Hold on to it till the End

Her beauty can not be captured by any mere picture nor words. A single photo is all I have left of her.  That and a memory is all I need for her to inspire me past all reasoning.  She is my Muse, my Siren,  my love, my life.  When I'm with her, there is no such thing as pain, No such thing as sorrow.  Life is perfect.  My heart belongs to her.  No other will it belong to.  When we are together, everything stops.  Time itself stands still.  It's just me and her.  She takes my breathe away.  Nothing else matters, no problems, no worries, no tears.   Just a smile and a chin up to tomorrow.  When I have her in my arms and she looks up at me. I lean over to whisper in to her ear "I'll never let go".

A Beautiful Insanity

I always wondered if she loved me.  Sometimes I'm scared I will never know.  Amongst all her imperfections she was always perfect to me.  Her personality gleams brighter than any star or light.  She is beautiful in all ways.  I want her.  I need her.  She rejuvenates me.  I feel loved more and more every word she speaks to me.  When I look at her, I feel hope, hope,not sadness, not pain, not fear, but hope.  It is a hope for happiness.  A hope for love.  I love her.  Anything she would ask and i would do it for her, no questions ask, no judgement.  She makes me happy.  I only smile because of her.  I only live for her happiness.  The day my life comes to an end, I only wish she be by my side.  I wish we could spend all our days in union.  No one gives my life more meaning than her.  I imagine us laying together in the sun.  The sun kissing her white skin.  Her eyes glistening as she glares into my own.  She slowly leans over to me and plants a small kiss upon my lips.  I reach over to her and bring her  body closer to mine.  She feels my warm breathe against her neck as I place kisses up along her neck slowly making my way to her lips.  We love each other, and we always will.  This is my beautiful insanity.