dreamland

sad, really, why?  I keep having these dreams that cause me to revisit all the temptations of my past.  All the bad feelings and memories that I worked so hard to bury for the sake of my happiness are coming back up.  through my dreams they find refuge in my mind.  last night my dreams where just, too real.  it was like i was taking forgoten memories and creating new ones with the people i love.  Is loving someone a bad thing?  Why does my love for others hurt the one im with so much, then again I dont blame her I would feel the same too, probably worse.  But i just cant control it, I try and I try to forget but I cant because of these damn dreams.

Fire

As smoke filled up my house, my lungs, my eyes.  I became frozen, crippled even.
I was scared, no terrified.  alone .
there was no before or after, just that moment, that single fragment of time frozen and separated.
I feared death, I knew I was trapped.  As I approached the doorway, contemplating my chance of escape. I just couldn't move, I wasn't ready to die yet.  

Tortured Memories

I find myself in a palace by the sea.  It is night time, the waves are crashing into the shore.  This place feels so small yet so endless.  Like if I was trapped in an infinite exploration.  I had company.  There were two beautiful woman with me.  One who was close to me in my every day walk of this world, the other, was a distant memory of what was in the past.  The one who belonged to me started to drift away from me, she started to prioritize our time together to herself.  I became lonely in this golden castle of lost emotions.  Then something odd happened, the woman who was lost in my minds memories had found the man who was lost in his life.  We came together and went swimming in the endless black ocean.  We got back to the palace to dry up with our towels in the bed.  As we sat in the main chambers and traded conversation, she asked me something. She asked me if I could touch her bare shoulders, help her relax, massage the stress and anxiety away.  So I did.  We got closer and closer, my hands touching her soft perfect skin.  Then we started to kiss.  More and more passionately it got.  We made love in a world with no stars.  Then my other love found out, she told her.  We were done, ended.  I felt ashamed, embarrassed, scared.  They then came to me together scared as well.  They told me demons were coming.  That we needed to go.  I've never have been scared of demons, but I ran with them away, for them, and nothing else.  I felt the need to protect the woman that I love.  So off into the dark we ran, all the way through the palace until everything just faded away.